Mario is tall. More so in heels. His head is as far up as it can go. He has many names due to Italian-opera-like circumstances involving his grandfather, polio, adoption papers, and an illiterate woman with seven children. Mario is married with no regrets. His parents are divorced but he has trouble remembering them together. He works hard unless he doesn't care. He won second place in a west coast rock/paper/scissors competition. Fear his paper, respect his scissors, kiss the rock.